Burdens to Bear, Burdens to Share... Part 2

Even with all of the surgeries that I have had in my life, I was unprepared for the amount of pain and recovery time that the open cyst surgery would take. My doctor warned me that I would not be able to do any heavy lifting for at least 6 weeks. I also could not even hold my baby for at least 2 full weeks. This was especially challenging since I had a 2 1/2 month old infant to take care of.

During this difficult time, so many people helped our little family. We had meals from the Relief Society, my friends drove my children to and from school daily, and Jonathon's family and one of my aunts came to help me and watch the kids. The kindness showed to us was overwhelming.

It took a good two weeks before I was feeling semi-normal again and could handle the minimum requirements for taking care of my family by myself. I was just sending out the last thank you notes and getting my life back in order when we got the phone call...

I was driving home from taking Christian to school when the phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize, but my whole body immediately tensed up, and I felt so much anxiety. I waited until I got home to listen to the message. It was my doctor calling to tell me that he needed to speak with me and my husband in his office as soon as possible. He didn't want to tell me anything on the phone, but he did mention "test results" and "Mayo Clinic." I called Jonathon in tears and asked him to come home.

It was unspoken, but we both knew that we were about to get very bad news.

Jonathon's sister was kind enough to bring him home so he wouldn't have to wait for public transit. While I was waiting for Jonathon, I called my dear friend to find a babysitter for my kids. She sensed the gravity of the situation and immediately told me to come over so I wouldn't have to be alone. She knew exactly what I needed.

At the doctor's office, we got the news that we both feared... Cancer.

I had cancer.

At 30 years old, with three small children, and no family history, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

The news came as a huge shock because we thought that everything had come back normal. We didn't even know that further tests were being done. It turns out that the initial samples that were tested during the surgery were clean, but when the full cyst was tested, some abnormal cells were found. They sent the results to two different labs before finally sending them to the Mayo Clinic. The cells were finally identified as mucinous ovarian cancer.

Although he was delivering terrible news, my doctor tried to give us some hope. He referred us to the very best cancer doctors in the region at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, and he reassured us that when he had operated 3 weeks earlier, he didn't see anything that had alarmed him. He hoped that meant that the cancer had not spread. Of course, we wouldn't know anything for sure until we saw the specialists and had some more tests done. My doctor and I have been through a lot in the past 2 years, and he has always been compassionate and kind. This visit reaffirmed my admiration for him.

After the appointment, we immediately called to try to get an appointment with the specialist, but there wasn't one available for 3 weeks. That first week after my diagnosis was the worst we have ever been through. I was so overcome with grief and worry that I felt like I would suffocate under the weight of the situation. We tried to hold everything together for our kids, but I wasn't eating and was slowly slipping into despair. The burden on my shoulders was so heavy I could literally feel it collapsing in on me.

In public I tried to put on a happy face, but I felt like a total fraud. To try to combat all of my negative thoughts and feelings, I decided to watch the Relief Society Broadcast from General Conference that I had missed because of the last surgery. Sister Linda K. Burton's talk was an answer to my prayers. She spoke about keeping our covenants. She told the story of a woman who's son was going through a major trial. The woman suffered with it alone for a long time, but decided to be courageous and ask her fellow Relief Society sisters to fast and pray for her son. That decision made a huge difference in how she was able to handle the situation. Sister Burton followed this story by saying, "Oh, sisters, we all have burdens to bear and burdens to share. An invitation to bear one another’s burdens is an invitation to keep our covenants." 

I thought about this idea for a long time. When we are baptized, we make a covenant to "mourn with those that mourn" and to "comfort those that stand in need of comfort.' We also covenant to be like Christ and "bear one another's burdens." Jesus himself said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest... For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Christ is inviting us to give our burdens to him and he will help us carry them. He is also asking all of His followers to be His hands and help carry the burdens of those around us. Just like Sister Burton said, we all have burdens in this life that we must bear, but we can also help share the burdens of others.

While these thoughts were on my mind, my parents decided to ask our family to have a special fast for my health. My dad asked me if it would be okay to tell the rest of our extended family about my situation and ask them for prayers and fasting in my behalf. It was difficult to ask for help, but once I humbled myself, I realized I had been given an opportunity to test Sister Burton's advice and share my burdens with others. 

In the days that followed, I received countless emails and notes from concerned family members. They all expressed so much love and support for me and my family. My amazing extended family and friends also came through with hundreds of prayers and countless hours of fasting in my behalf. At one point, my name was on the prayer roll in no fewer than five temples. The response was awe-inspiring. I was completely humbled and overcome with gratitude. Even though my health situation had not changed, my burden truly did become light. I was able to find peace that no matter what happened, it would be the right (and best) thing for our family. This peace was truly a miracle, and I will always be thankful for all those people who honored their covenants and blessed our family through their faith.