Doctors and Decisions

*This is the third post in a series describing my diagnosis of ovarian cancer. To read the previous posts, click here and here.

The day of my appointment at the Huntsman Cancer Institute finally came. I was anxious and nervous, but so happy to finally be doing something to fight this cancer. When we sat down in the room, we were greeted by a whole team of medical professionals who had reviewed my case. My doctor, Dr. Soisson, sat down with us and had a frank conversation. On the good side, he felt fairly confident that we had caught the cancer in stage 1. He told us that my particular form of cancer usually was not genetic, and if caught early, was very treatable. With that hopeful news, he presented us with 3 options for further treatment.

Option #1: Do Nothing. My doctor felt like there was an 80% chance that the cancer had already been removed during the last surgery. He didn't recommend this option, but felt like he should give us all the possibilities. 80% is a great reason to be hopeful, but the 20% chance that there was still cancer in my body was not something that I was willing to risk. We immediately ruled out this option.

Option #2: Do 6 months of Chemotherapy. Dr. Soisson was confident that after 6 months, any cancer that might still be there would be destroyed by the chemo, but he cautioned us that chemo had some major side affects. He also reminded us that there was an 80% chance that we would be doing the chemo unnecessarily.

Option #3: Do an exploratory surgery to take dozens of biopsies of tissues where the cancer may have spread. Of course, this would mean yet another surgery, but if the biopsies came back clean, no further treatment would be necessary. If cancer was found, then we would go forward with the 6 months of chemo, knowing that it was needed.

Regardless of the option that we chose, my doctor strongly recommended that I get a full hysterectomy at some point in the near future. Since both ovaries had been affected by cysts, it was a strong possibility that the other ovary would eventually develop a cancerous cyst as well. My regular OB/gyn had already discussed this with us and recommended that we call our family complete and do the hysterectomy. Dr. Soisson said that if we really felt strongly about having one more baby, we could wait a year before having the surgery. It would be a risk, but he felt like it would probably be manageable if that was our decision. This became just one more decision that we needed to make.

With all of these decisions lingering in our minds, Dr. Soisson gave us our deadline...

One day.

We only had one day to decide what we were going to do. He felt like it was in my best interest to get started with the chemo or surgery immediately, so we needed to go home and discuss it that night and be prepared to let him know the next day.

As we were leaving the cancer institute, we were very upbeat about the prognosis. The doctor was confident that we would be able to take care of the cancer. We also knew that we were going to have to make some very difficult decisions. Immediately, I felt like the surgery was the best option. Jonathon completely agreed with that thought. We both felt like doing chemo unnecessarily was just too big of a risk.

Since we were going with the surgery, we decided through fasting and prayer to do the hysterectomy at the same time. This would eliminate the need for another surgery in the future. It would also decrease the likelihood of more cancer. After having 3 babies and 7 abdominal surgeries, I felt like my body just couldn't handle any more trauma. Of course, this decision was extremely difficult because both of us come from big families, and we had always wanted more kids. Despite the sadness, we truly felt like it was the right decision. We have always believed that Hyrum was our miracle baby. He took a long time to join our family, came right between two cysts, and pretty much saved my life by alerting my doctors to the cancerous cyst while still in utero. We already received our miracle, and we felt blessed beyond measure to have 3 healthy, happy boys. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to count my blessings. During this whole trial, all I ever wanted to do was live so that I could grow old with my husband and raise my sweet boys. If a hysterectomy would mean I had a better chance at doing that, it would all be worth it.

When my doctor called back, he was extremely happy with our decisions. While he never pressured us one way or the other, he let us know that, in his professional opinion, we were making the best possible decision. Then came the next decision... we could do the surgery as an open laparotomy, which would require 6 more weeks of healing time (also meaning I would miss Thanksgiving in Idaho with my family), or we could ask his partner, Dr. Dodson, to perform the surgery laparoscopically, which would greatly decrease the recovery time, but mean that we were going with a less tested option. He indicated that the surgery was usually done "open" because of the complexity, but he believed that the skill of Dr. Dodson would make the two surgeries comparable.

With yet another decision to make, I was just too overwhelmed. I had reached my mental/emotional breaking point, and I couldn't think clearly enough to know what would be best. I was worried about the open surgery because my last one had been so hard, but I was also worried about the laparoscopy because the results had never really been studied since it was so new. When the nurse called back to schedule the date and type of surgery, I was a complete mess. I didn't have an answer and was almost in tears while talking to her. She was so kind and could definitely sense my struggle. She gave me a chance to regain my composure and said she would call me back shortly.

At that moment, I did the only thing I could think of. I literally fell to my knees and said a desperate prayer for help. I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me make the right decision. I asked for a clear answer so that I could be confident going into this life-changing surgery. I had prayed many many times during the last few weeks, but this prayer was different.

Just minutes after finishing my prayer, the phone rang. The same nurse spoke gently on the other line and told me that she had spoken with Dr. Soisson, and he believed that I should have Dr. Dodson do the surgery laparoscopically. If I agreed, Dr. Dodson could make room for me in his schedule to have the surgery in only 3 days as opposed to the 10 days that I was expecting. I immediately felt a resounding peace fill my whole body. I was overcome with gratitude. I had been desperate to have the surgery quickly to relieve the worry and anxiety I had been having. I was also so happy to not have to have a huge open incision again. Lastly, it would mean that if all went well, I would be able to go home to Idaho for Thanksgiving. With all of the stress of the last two months, that alone felt like such a huge blessing. I completely agreed to the plan, and as soon as I was off the phone, I thanked Heavenly Father for such a fast, clear answer. Powerful answers like that don't come very often, and I would be completely ungrateful if I did not acknowledge the miracle I had received.

With peace in my heart and mind, I went to work preparing for the upcoming surgery.