Relief

This week was a bad week... a double ear-infection, cranky baby, 3 year-old won't sit on the potty--mom forced to clean up 30 million "accidents", husband working late kind of bad week. I was grumpy, to say the least. When Jonathon came home each night, I would collapse onto the couch and bemoan my life.

Andrew was waking up 5-6 times a night. Do the math. That's roughly every 1-2 hours. Even switching back and forth with Jonathon, that means 3 times each. A month ago, we took him to the doctor and found out he had a double ear infection. We gave him all of the antibiotics and watched as his waking decreased to 4-5 times per night. We figured he must be teething. We gave him tylenol before bed, but to no avail.

I finally decided that I must have the grumpiest baby on the planet who just didn't like to sleep. I thought he decided that he was making up for Christian who slept all the time. He just wanted to be stubborn. The rest of the day he seemed fine (playing contently and following big brother around constantly), but naps and nighttime were a constant battle. Jonathon and I finally reached the end of our ropes this week and decided that we were going to let him scream until he went back to bed.

Sorry 20 neighbors that live within 5 feet of us.

Sorry big brother.

It had to be done.

After 15 minutes and no end in sight, we really did start to feel bad about the banshee screams echoing from our apartment. We got up with him then. And the next hour, and the next. Finally as a last resort, we took him back to the doctor.

DOUBLE EAR INFECTION.

huh?

I thought that was what the medication was for. Apparently, sometimes the medicine doesn't work, and it looks as though Andrew was one of the lucky few. My bitterness for my grumpy baby dissolved slightly and I felt so sorry for my sweet little guy who had been dealing with this pain for 2 months. Even my new found sympathy didn't make the week any easier though. I was still far too grumpy with him.

The big brother was an even more difficult case. I consider myself a decent mother. I consider Christian a fairly bright 3-year-old. Potty-training would be doable, right? I wasn't expecting easy. I wasn't even expecting quick. I was just expecting progress.

WRONG!

On Saturday we had a huge camping themed potty party to celebrate Christian being a big boy and getting rid of the diapers. We went all out. We set up a tent in the house. We went on a "hike" through the park. We went fishing in the tub.

It was supposed to work.

Teri Crane said so.

After a full day of celebrating and constant one on one potty-training, we did not have one single success. No problem. I was confident he would get it in a few days. WRONG AGAIN! After an entire week and hours and hours and hours of sitting in the bathroom,we had 3 successes (lucky timing) and about 30 accidents. He actually digressed. By the end he refused to use the potty. Flat out REFUSED. Not only that, but our brainwashing worked so well that he also refused to wear diapers because "babies wear diapers." This presented an interesting quandry. Now what?

So now that I have spent a LARGE portion of this post talking about my bad week, I return to the title.

RELIEF.

I needed some. I needed relief physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I found it.

On Saturday, we got a babysitter and Jonathon and I went to the temple. It was perfect. What a beautiful, peaceful, happy place to reflect on my blessings and leave the struggles behind. One minute I was on the busy streets of Manhattan hoping that my children weren't torturing their wonderful babysitter, the next I was sitting quietly in the most beautifully decorated temple I have ever seen.

RELIEF.

2 hours at the temple made me a better mom. I found help and encouragement. You would never think to find potty-training and ear-infection help at the temple, but that is exactly where it was. I realized (again) that our children are given to us to bring us joy. I needed to find the joy in motherhood that I had been lacking. The temple taught me that the best way to find that perfect joy and solve my problems was to show forth an increase in love.

Show them more Love... That's the answer.

We love Andrew even if he is up all night. We can snuggle him a little closer to ease his pain...even at 3:00 in the morning.

We love Christian. We want him to succeed. We want him to feel proud of himself. We are taking a step back. He is back in diapers for now, but with plenty of encouragement that he CAN do it and WILL do it soon. It has made our home happier. I'm sure I will be angry and frustrated again when he has another accident on my lovely beige couch, but for now, I hug him a little tighter. I think love really is the answer. Showing more love really reminds me how much joy I have in my life. We will get through this... eventually. We will all grow a little from these trials. We will love each other even more.

Ahh... sweet relief, courtesy the temple of the Lord.

I think I will probably need to go back next week.

*The picture is a cool print our Bishop designed. You can get more info here.