Cured

Five years ago, I was given the shock of a lifetime when my doctor told me that I had cancer... the dreaded "C" word. I was 30 years old with 3 young children, including a newborn, and no family history of ovarian cancer. This was not supposed to happen... not to me.

Jonathon and I left the office that day in stunned silence and complete disbelief. When I finally broke down, the tears didn't stop for a long time. I was terrified. I couldn't sleep over the next few weeks because I was filled with fear and anxiety. When I would get up with baby Hyrum in the middle of the night, I would sit in the rocking chair, crying silent tears, wondering if I would live to see my sweet baby grow up. It was a dark place where the days seemed to stand still, but mortality seemed much too brief.

As the weeks passed, the cancer diagnosis settled in, and I slowly found my way from fear to faith. There were many tender mercies along the way. Almost immediately, we realized that Hyrum probably saved my life by coming to us at the right time so that doctors could find the cancer before it progressed. Those hard years previous when I suffered a miscarriage and yearned so desperately for another baby, then seemed like such a precious blessing from a loving Heavenly Father. I was blessed to receive several priesthood blessings from Jonathon and others that helped calm my soul. We were guided to the right doctor, at the right time, by a kind nurse who answered my prayer when I was too distraught to be able to make important decisions. The prayers and fasting of family members all over the country and world buoyed us up and sustained us. At one point, my name was on the prayer list in no fewer than five temples as friends, cousins, uncles, aunts, siblings, and parents prayed for the miracle of healing on my behalf.

The journey to faith wasn't easy and the ending was still unclear, but the world was no longer dark because I had found my way into the light of Christ's love. No matter what happened, I knew that it was for my good. I knew that my family and I would be taken care of. Peace filled me up and left little room for fear.

As I went into surgery, I had a feeling of calmness that allowed me to take the life-altering step of having a full hysterectomy with complete confidence that it was the right thing for me and for our family.

One week after my surgery was Thanksgiving. I was worried about traveling to Idaho so soon after a major surgery, but Jonathon knew what I needed. He knew I needed my mom's homemade bread, my dad's strong hugs, and the laughter and warmth of my siblings. Being able to spend Thanksgiving with my family was its own tender mercy.

I was determined not to call to get the results of my biopsies until after Thanksgiving because I didn't want to ruin the holiday. On the night before Thanksgiving, I noticed that I had a missed voicemail on my phone. My doctor had called to tell me that all of the biopsies had come back clean. I would need to continue to be monitored every 3 months, but no further treatments were needed at the time. He wished me a Happy Thanksgiving and hung up.

With great rejoicing and overwhelming feelings of gratitude, I was able to share the news with my family. That Thanksgiving was more meaningful and powerful to me than any I have ever experienced. I thanked Heavenly Father for watching over me, for healing my body through the hands of a wise, trained doctor, and for teaching me of the Atonement in a way I could not have learned in other ways.

As the months and years have gone by, I have returned frequently to the doctor's office to check for any signs of returning cancer. The "all clears" began to pile up, and with each clean bill of health came more rejoicing and prayers of gratitude.

Now, five years later, on November 2, 2018, my doctor gave me another "C" word. CURED. I had passed all the tests, I had made it the designated time, I was officially declared cancer-free.

That night, I again dropped to my knees and thanked Heavenly Father for his miracles. I looked back and saw God's hand guiding me through the initial grief and bringing me out on the other side as a more understanding, more compassionate, more holy person.

Even in my relief and joy, I recognized that Christ was behind it all. It was he who knew my pain, he who poured out peace upon our family, and he who we must look to for the rest of our lives, no matter what other trials and challenges we will surely face. "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophecy of Christ" because it is Christ that heals us and redeems us. He is the greatest "C" word of all. That is my testimony.